I just need to share

I just need to share a little of what has been going on in my life lately. I don't usually like to do this on a blog but I am really down tonight and need to "talk" it out.

As you may have read in some of my earlier posts my hubby took a new job in a new city. It is over 2 hours away so we have to relocate. Now this doesn't seem so bad at the surface. But when you look at it deeper it becomes quite stressful. You see for 12 years we have lived here in West Tennessee and to say we were unhappy would be putting it lightly. We never really have had any friends. The kids were miserable in school and any type of extracurricular activity we tried in the area. We have all moaned and groaned about wanting to move away.

Now fast forward to this year. It felt like everything was coming together. We were financially comfortable. The kids and I were finding our groove when it came to homeschooling. And thanks to our YMCA group all of us were forming great friendships and enjoying ourselves. It was to good to be true. Well, it was.

My hubby decided to leave his job for a new one. The other job was changing for the worse so he got out. Fine, I can deal with that. But here comes the financial stress of changing jobs, being able to afford a place for him to live there while we complete our year here. Poogie wants to finish her year in ballet, we have already paid for everything. TT wants to complete his year of YMCA with his buddies. Even if we did move with him we still have the financial stress of a place here and one there.

I am afraid when we move that I will have to return to teaching and put the kids in school. I have just about made myself sick over it. I have figured out our budget every which way and I just don't see any other option. The only way I can stay home is if Brad's job really kicks in. And it has the potential, we will have to wait and see.

It has always been an issue when money gets tight that I need to return to work, but I was hoping we were past that. I guess not.

I also feel guilty because a little part of me, just sometimes, misses working. I miss teaching. I miss making my own money. But the thought of trying to juggle two kids in school, a job, my mother and my hubby gone 99% of the time is just too overwhelming.

I really wanted to just spill without someone telling me " I told you so", or "It will work out". I know it will, but the options of what may happen have been pretty hard to deal with.

Thanks for "listening".