Today has been a day of deep thinking and the need to express my true feelings, as you can tell by my previous post. These feelings are ones that have come about over time. Over years of being the one who always tries to make everyone else around me feel wonderful, to never hurt their feelings and to do anything asked of me by them. In turn I have ended up hurt, used and betrayed. No, this is not from pent up anger. I was just feeling guilty about my new idea of actually being myself, saying no, and by golly just enjoying life for once.
So here I sit tonight with my hubby watching the movie 27 Dresses and we are both like OMG that is so you (i.e. me). Katherine Heigl's (don't know if I spelled that right) character is one of those people that is so caught up in being the perfect friend and doing for others that she forgets about herself. Now I haven't ever been a bridesmaid, but I have been taken advantage of by the people around me a lot. Sure, I can do so and so for the school, church, etc. etc. I couldn't say no. And then right after my 36th birthday something just clicked. I began to say no and it felt so good.
If I could only say no to some of my demanding family members I would really be doing good. Well, I am a work in progress.
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